<mta> It's hard on the outside and it's kinda warm.. the wetness is on the inside.

<Xach> every time i fart i cons a megabyte

I gave up on Supreme Court hearings when I realized that opposition party Senators approach their question time as a chance to elicit some television coverage back home, in hopes to extract contributions from their most rabid supporters. Not unlike a band releasing an EP of live tracks or remixes between albums.    -- Todd Stump

<andersca> my head is so bald that the green card photo has jpeg
 artifacts :(

<pretsel> my new project at work is a dating website for horses
<pretsel> but instead of a date at the end of the process you get a box
 fedexed to you containing frozen horse semen

<jim> i almost got chips and salsa today
<jim> but fucking city market never carries goddamn fucking newman's own
 peach fucking salsa
<Matty> That was almost a good story
<O> Jim um
<O> You know that is just the leftover stock
<O> They stopped making Newman's Own everything after he died
<O> Soon there will never be any more ever
<jim> helena i hope you are lying
<O> Do you not remember, when he died?
<jim> i remember when he died
<jim> but i assume he left plans for the continuation of the program
<Bob> it's over
<jim> nooooooooo
<Bob> all things must pass
<jim> they must have an assload of stock though
<jim> because it has been a while
<O> I think they are offloading that over time for his charities
<jim> that is the worst news i have ever heard
<Matty> the wikipedia says the Talbots are fucking with you
<jim> godDAMNIT
<O> Hahahahahahhahahah DAMMIT MATT
<Matty> I... I didn't want him to cry
<Matty> It's always so awkward
<O> Breaking Jim's tiny ginger heart is all I have left!
<jim> I probably just have to buy a car and drive to Junction or something
<scromp> i understand they have tons of it in leadville
<jim> leadville also has an industry-funded mining museum which i am sure
 captures all the important elements of mining's history in the area
<O> The mining museum starts out with a hyper-realistic mining style tunnel
<O> Then when you approach the end of it men with guns hand you a pickaxe
 and tell you to get to work
<O> And once your ten years are up, they still have the nerve to make you
 exit through the gift shop
<jim> there are microphones in the wall and if they pick up the word "union" 
 in speech then the roof caves in

<Mechant> "I believe the list of things that can be mongered is confined
 to: war, hate, fear, and -- for some reason -- fish. I've never understood
 what the fish-mongers did to get on that list."

<reamer_rick> sigh, in the distance I can hear my manager and the dev.
team manager berating a vendor
<reamer_rick> it's so good to hear some people getting as surly and
passionate as me at long last
<reamer_rick> it's like one of them is holding the vendor down and the
other one is taking a dump on their chest
<reamer_rick> metaphorically
<reamer_rick> steamer on the sternum
<pretsel> are they doing this in a sexy way or a mean way?
<reamer_rick> Personally, I fail to see the difference.

<Hoot> I need to find a lady who understands the horror of existence

<chime> Let one of my sons never begin a phone call to the other with, "Your
mom is a lying ho-bag."