I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

Mitch Hedberg 

<martel> co-creator of D&D died today
<rippy> he failed his saving throw! :(  why couldn't he have rolled a 20
* rippy puts on his +20 helmet of dork.
<martel> sigh
* hide breaks out his +15 sheild of geek
<archon> what did he drop?
<martel> poop most likely
<archon> let's random for it
<martel> pass
<hide> fewl

"How much does it cost? A dollar! I am not paying a dollar for a penny. That's a hundred percent markup!"

 - A mom at the Newport Aquarium discussing with her child why they won't be using the squished penny souvenir machine.

* chime puts Ben up on her shoulders
<chime> I wonder if there's a device I could buy that would hold him up here
<scromp> it's called your hands
<chime> Yes, but I wonder if there's some sort of carrier I could spend a hundred bucks on
<scromp> or get it used off the internet from some freaky hippies!
<chime> I WASHED IT!
<scromp> PATCHOULI DOESN'T WASH OUT, KIM!

<reamer_rick> scromp, you are like the captain in the Vin Diesel movie "Pitch Black".
<reamer_rick> Where "Jettison the passengers" isn't just any idea for saving the day, it's your FIRST idea.

<ton> the best thing about synthetic corks is no cork in the wine when
you pierce them thru
<scromp> i do like that
<scromp> the best thing about screwoff caps is you can pretend you are
homeless

<scromp> wasps is bitches
<scromp> i got hit 11 times in once incident in georgia when i was a kid
<snadra> ack
<scromp> still had my t-ball uniform on
<scromp> wasps *hate* t-ball

in the #books irc channel
<chime> ok, i need fiction
<chime> hit me
<blaine> iraq is a key battle in the war on terror

<scromp> nobody is going to talk shit to somebody with a puma

<slather> there's probably money in letting people catch and kill their
own chickens